Tony (left) found his direction in life after getting to know Tzu Chi, whose volunteers care for him as they would their own family members. (Photo by Zheng Zhen Yu)
With a steel piece held between his awkwardly curved right index finger and middle finger, Tony Ng Hee Kiat raises a hammer in his left hand and brings it down with force onto the steel. The job requires visual precision and strength, and a momentary lapse of concentration may result in an injury. Tony suffers from nystagmus or an irregular rapid movement of the eyes, and to carry out this simple hammering action, he needs to peer at the object closely and focus, before coordinating the actions of both his hands.
Stating that he wants to put in his best efforts for the job, Tony relies on his own hands to earn an income. Every Friday sees him at the Cerebral Palsy Alliance Singapore (CPAS) venue, where the job brings him a modest wage. It is like a little haven for him, and through working there, Tony found his self-confidence to reconnect with society.
After graduation from a special needs school, Tony has been working and receiving therapy at CPAS. He treasures this job, which he has held for 19 years. “If I give up, I won’t have a job nor a future,” he said.
Amidst the hammering sounds in his environment, Tony developed both focus and a seriousness towards his work that surpassed most people. His colleague Mr Xie praised him: “He is very confident, (and) he knows how to do everything, it’s great!”
Facing the Challenges in Life Bravely
Thirty-six years ago, Tony was born three months premature and suffered from paralysis on the right side of his body due to his left brain being deprived of oxygen. His inability to enunciate words clearly and occasional drooling are due to hiscranial nerves being unable to properly control his muscles.
From the time he was six years old till he was eighteen, his mother Cai Li Xia accompanied him to school and his teachers taught him life skills, such as how to wear his clothes and iron them. Today, Tony is as adept with these tasks as any normal person.
Tony has never thought of himself as a handicapped person and says that he is normal; when he walks along the streets, he ignores the strange looks he gets. He sometimes falls down, but never likes to call home for help. Tony is a strong-minded person and will even decline to have his mother apply medicine on his wounds after she discovers the superficial injuries he has sustained from falling.
When he was younger, Tony’s family was well-to-do and they lived in a spacious three-storey house with a maid. However, when he turned fourteen, their financial situation took a turn for the worse and their businessman father passed away from an illness. After his sister got married, they moved in with her into her marital home.
Just like other office workers, Tony works full-time five days a week. After work and especially on weekends, he would shut himself in his room bereft of television and computer. This dreary existence made him feel that he had no emotional outlet and his temperament became unstable. Harbouring strong resentment in his heart, his temper became violent and he would throw things around and destroy them, and even entertained thoughts of poking his mother’s eye.
The Journey to Wisdom
Three years ago, Tony’s aunt took him to attend classes on Buddhism. The teachings made an impact on him, and his temper began to change for the better.
In June 2015, Tony’s cousin Wu De Hong took him to the Tzu Chi recycling point in the neighbourhood and it was there that he learnt how to sort recyclables. From then on, Tony showed enthusiasm in attending Tzu Chi activities, and regardless of the distance, he would try his best to go. He treated his participation very seriously, and would prepare the clothes, shoes and socks that he would wear to the event the evening before.
Tony has already been volunteering at the recycling point for more than a year and actions such as bending to pick things up and sorting them out is never easy for him.
Volunteer Xie Jia Jun was concerned about how Tony could cope but soon discovered that he did not impose limitations on himself; if he fell, he would pick himself up and say that he wanted to continue. A resident who was sorting recyclables together with Tony also looked out for him and helped to remove staples from waste paper, making the process easier for him.
Tony would always ensure that his recyclables were sorted out at home first before bringing them to the recycling point. He said that since Tzu Chi volunteers had encouraged him to attempt the task, he would like to make use of the opportunity to learn and put what he knew into practice. Firmly believing that he would succeed if he put his mind to it, he said that his physical limitations made no difference to his ability.
His mother is appreciative of the care that volunteers show her son. In particular, Zheng Zhen Yu and his wife, who live nearby, often help to send him to Tzu Chi activities and take him home at the end of an activity.
When volunteers make house visits, Zheng and Tony are always in the same team and the former would even help the latter put on his shoes when they leave. Tony is deeply grateful to Tzu Chi volunteers for being his friends, rendering him help as needed, and for teaching him what they know.
The Cycle of Kindness
In 2015, Tony signed up to participate in a musical presentation for Tzu Chi Singapore’s 2015 Year-End Blessing Ceremony, and did not miss a single one of the twice-weekly practice sessions. He took pains to memorize the lyrics of the sign language songs and practised coordinating the actions with the melody. Though his hands could not clasp together perfectly, he tried his best to do what he could.
With his hard work, Tony eventually realized his dream when he became a trainee Tzu Chi commissioner in December 2015. Once, he left his wallet behind in a taxi and had to report the loss of his NRIC to the police. Volunteer Su Xiu Zhen recalled that he fretted about the loss of his volunteer identification card more than the loss of his other documents, and asked her if he could have it replaced.
Fan Hui Lin, a Tzu Chi beneficiary who is both a stroke and dialysis patient, was greatly touched when he saw Tony pick himself up after a fall at the Jing Si Hall one day. He was impressed that the latter could still join the home visits to the needy.
“I often thought that my life was hard, but after seeing him, I realised that I’m a lot more fortunate than many others. I can speak clearly, and though I have to use a walking stick to get around, but (comparatively) he has more difficulty than me.”
During the house visits, Tony saw many poor and sick people and shared his thoughts: “Don’t (waste time) blaming (one’s plight); life is short, (one) should live happily. I must help others with even greater diligence.”
The Heart Has No Disability
Volunteering work has brought Tony inner peace. Whereas he used to resent his circumstances in the past, he has now accepted his life. He shared that he has learnt how to open up to his co-workers, and with less negative thoughts, his temper has gradually improved.
During the 2015 Year-End Blessing Ceremony, Tony shared his spiritual journey with an audience downstage. After it was over, he asked his mother if she felt happy. Replying in the positive, she reminded him that knowing Tzu Chi and having the care of so many of its volunteers was something to be grateful for.
To Cai, her son has no disability, because he can take care of himself, take public transport and participate in the activities he wishes to, and he is definitely more fortunate than a bedridden person, who has to rely on the long term care of others. “Seeing that Tony (her son) can do so many things, I feel happy and content.”
Today, Tony constantly reminds himself of the Jing Si Aphorism (by Tzu Chi’s founder, Dharma Master Cheng Yen), “to forgive others is to be kind to oneself”, and in so doing, let go of his past resentment.“ Every time I see the advice of Master Cheng Yen, I’ll tell myself to work hard at helping others. My only hope is that I can personally meet the Master herself one day.”
Five days a week, Tony earns an income by his own hard work, hammering steel pieces in with a hammer; the job requires focus and precision or an injury can occur. (Photo by Chiew Lay Moi)
Tony’s colleague Mr Xie (right) praised him (right) for his confidence and work ability. (Photo by Chiew Lay Moi)
In June 2015, Tony’s cousin Wu De Hong took him to the recycling point in the neighbourhood, and it was the first contact that the latter had with Tzu Chi. (Photo by Seah Jia Jun)
Tony has volunteered at the recycling point for more than a year though each action of bending to pick up something and sorting out the materials is not easy for him. (Photo by Lin Kai Ling)
Resident Yang Quan Lian (first from left) frequently checks if Tony (second from left) requires any help as they sort recyclables together. (Photo by Lin Kai Ling)
Zheng Zhen Yu (left), who lives nearby to Tony, took a taxi with him to attend the 2015 Tzu Chi Year-End Blessing Ceremony. (Photo by Pua Poo Toong)
At the 2015 Tzu Chi Year-End Blessing Ceremony, Tony (second from right) was invited to share his spiritual journey with everyone. (Photo by Chua Teong Seng)
Volunteer Su Xiu Zhen (right) often accompanies Tony and says that while he has a physical inability, his heart has none and he is in fact the same as everyone else. (Photo by Chua Teong Seng)
Fan Hui Lin (right) looks up to Tony as his role model and the duo often communicate and encourage each other. (Photo by Lin Kai Ling)
Tony (left) pictured here participating in a Tzu Ching beach cleanup activity. (Photo by Cai Yue Guo)
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