A student and her mother wrapped in a warm embrace (Photo by Chua See Siew)
At the opening of the second Seeds of Hope (SOH) Development Camp held on 25 June 2016, the emcee welcomed the student participants with good cheer, encouraging them to make new friends and spend a day of fun together.
As the Tzu Chi Seeds of Hope Financial Assistance Scheme (for needy students) passed its eighth year, a SOH Meritorious Award was added in 2014. From the name list of those receiving the financial assistance, volunteers would shortlist candidates for the award. After half a year of making regular monthly house visits, students who showed improvements in their character and social interactions with others would be eligible for the award.
The SOH Development Camp, which was held during the mid-year school holidays at the Jing SI Hall, had the objective of bolstering closer relations between student beneficiaries and their families and between them and their home visit volunteers. The half-day event was attended by 12 parents along with 25 students who had made the shortlist.
Qiu Li Lian, volunteer in charge of the camp curriculum said that much care was taken in deciding the programme for the group of active youths. A segment for washing the feet of their parents was also planned in to bring across the importance of filial piety. The planning team spent the past two months discussing the programme and even in the emcee’s script, they sought to instill the qualities of warmth and respect. She expressed hopes that the youths would be able to see the changes in themselves after the camp and be well-prepared to welcome the future and its challenges.
Positive Thinking
“Do you like cats?”
“Are you 14 this year?”
In the ice-breaker session, participants sought to know their new friends better through asking questions. The classroom hummed with the buzz of participants busily asking questions. Facilitators also encouraged the shy ones to make the first step to get to know others.
The subsequent activity was an experiential learning lesson where every student joined a team, with everyone in the team having a different “physical disability” assigned. Team members had to reach a consensus and achieve a common goal after taking into account the different inconveniences they each had. A loud noise was heard as a bowl crashed onto the floor—the result of a careless move by teammates trying their best to navigate despite their “handicaps.” Everyone learnt that even a simple action could become a mammoth task when they had “handicaps” to deal with!
Those who were assigned “linguistic difficulties” relied on hand gestures to tell their friend an item they were seeking, while those that were told they had to “do without the help of their hands” in addition to being “mute” gripped a pen between their teeth in order to write down the message. Their “one-legged” friend received the message, but had no means to get the item himself. He engaged another friend with “visual impairment” to help fetch the item while giving instructions by the side. Finally, with a three-legged gait, they gingerly made their way back to a long table to retrieve the correct item before heading back to the start point.
“With one leg I can’t walk fast, and yet need to guide my ‘visually-impaired” partner’.”
“I feel helpless and fear falling with a blindfold on.”
Participants shared their feelings after the exercise and subsequently contemplated how fortunate they were to have bodies that were wholly functioning. They further watched a video about a disabled nine-year-old boy, and were inspired to think positively whenever they met with challenges; with determination and optimism, problems can be solved.
Role Play Helps Foster Understanding
After lunch, it was time for the role-play session which explored the common types of conflicts between parents and their children. Students were assigned the part of parents while volunteers played the role of their children. Emcee Yu Zhen Xing facilitated the session with his upbeat style, while participants put together an entertaining performance, resulting in bursts of laughter from the audience. Participant Qiu Ji Min came to the realization that “needs” and “wants” are two very different things after watching the short skit where a “parent” was beset with worry at the pile of bills, while his “child” pestered him for a trendy pair of branded shoes.
A fifteen-year-old Malay student who has been interacting with Tzu Chi volunteers for two years shared the changes she saw in herself. While she used to be reserved with her emotions in the past, she now tries to express her feelings so that her friends can understand her better. She is also happier and smiles more often; she is not bothered when others speak negatively, as she knows that she has the support of family and friends. She is very grateful towards her mother, who continued to encourage her when her grades were not ideal.
The student now seeks to understand the problems and stresses her mother faces, and takes the initiative with housework. She also encourages her normally reserved younger brother to interact more often with their mother.
At 1pm, parents started arriving at the Jing Si Hall. Volunteer Zhong Wan Ying conducted the lighthearted discussion session, and called on parents to use the free time in between their daily tasks to communicate more with their children. She also advised them to encourage instead of rebuke so as to improve the relationship with their children.
Showing Love Through Actions
While their parents were participating in the discussion, the students were busy creating cards for them. Using the coloured paper, ribbons and buttons provided, they gave play to creativity and some even drew beautiful pictures to accompany their heartfelt messages. “I’m sorry!” “I love you!” “Thank you!” could be seen on many of the cards.
“When you massage your parent’s shoulders, did you realise how tight they were? Our parents work hard because of us and they get tired too; they also hope for love from their children. Many times we are so caught up with our activities that we fail to realise that they have aged with the passing years. Have we ever noticed the white streaks in their hair?”
Emcee Chen Xi Zhi’s words brought silence into the room as she facilitated the parent and child interactive session, where children were invited to present their handmade cards to their parents.
The melody of the song “Kneeling Lamb” filled the air and the lyrics, rich with the theme of filial piety, struck a chord with the parents who were seen dabbing away tears.
In the next activity lined up, children knelt in front of their parents to gently wash their feet. This again elicited tears from the parents as they lovingly looked down at their child. Chen encouraged everyone to express their love in a timely manner with the words: “Regret is the greatest punishment in life.” It really did not matter whether it was an “I love you” or a “Sorry!” and the touching scene moved even the volunteers present.
“When I think of my father, I will cry secretly for the loss of his love...... in order to lessen the burden on my mother, I must study even harder,” said a 14-year-old student. His mother revealed that there was usually a barrier in her relationship with him, but the occasion gave her the rare opportunity to hug him. This brought her much joy, she said, as she wiped away happy tears. Her son ended by telling her “Mom, I love you!”
As the camp neared its end, helpers who had been quietly working behind the scenes emerged to thank participants for their attendance. The emcee invited everyone to hold the hands of those near them and treasure the time they have together.
Then the tune of the song “One Family” filled the air, and parents and their children took family photographs together to preserve the happy moment for posterity.
During the play-acting segment, those that were role-playing a lack of hand functions together with communication disabilities could only hold a pencil in their mouths to write down their thoughts. (Photo by Chen Li Xia)
Participants experienced how it was like to have disabilities, and learnt to use their own strengths to complement the strengths of others. (Photo by Chen Li Xia)
A parent is moved to tears watching her child wash her feet. (Photo by Chua See Siew)
In the role-play segment, a student who has been assigned the role of “parent” stares worriedly at a pile of bills while the “child” clamours for a pair of branded shoes. (Photo by Chen Li Xia)
Volunteer Zhong Wan Ying facilitates a parental discussion session with the aim of improving parent-child communications. (Photo by Chua See Siew)
Sharifah (first from right) is grateful to Tzu Chi for the opportunity to hug her son (third from right) and build a closer relationship with him. (Photo by Chen Li Xia)
The working committee volunteers meticulously prepared colourful buttons, coloured paper and ribbons for participants to get creative in making cards for their parents. (Photo by Chen Li Xia)
Eight Tzu Shaos (students from the Tzu Chi teenagers’ class) present a sign language item, “The Kneeling Lamb”, which left many a parent tearfully dabbing at their eyes. (Photo by Chen Li Xia)
Qiu Li Lian (first from left) said that in consideration of the fact that attendees comprised a group of active youths, a varied and dynamic programme was planned out. (Photo by Chen Li Xia)
At the close of the camp, the song “One Family” was sung in three languages as a fitting close to the 2016 SOH Development Camp. (Photo by Chen Li Xia)
Volunteers behind the scenes decorate the rooms used during the camp and also set up a prayer room for Muslim students. (Photo by Chua See Siew)
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