Home care nurse Pan Han Ni (left) providing nursing care for Madam Koh (first from right) with the assistance of foreign domestic helper, Tin Tin (second from right). (Photo by Chan May Ching)
As soon as we entered the main door, we were greeted by a neat and empty living room with a recliner where a 94-year-old elderly was seen curled up and sleeping. 94-year-old Madam Koh suffers from multiple chronic diseases, including stroke, heart failure, and dementia.
With her chronic diseases and complications getting more severe, the elderly’s arms were curled up and becoming stiff. Her fingers have curled over the years and are gradually bending towards the palm, and multiple bedsores were seen on her back.
Madam Koh would frown and scream in agony every time she was treated for her wound. Madam Koh’s daughter, Ms Zhou, is grateful to Tin Tin Oo, a foreign maid, for providing one-to-one attentive and close care of her mother.
Treatment varies according to the recovery stage of the wound. Different dressings, gauze, liquid solutions and nursing methods are used depending on the state of the skin, whether dehydrated or moist and the location of the wound. However, with the support of nurse Pan Han Ni, Tin Tin can operate a small mirror, a small flashlight, a pair of scissors, gauze and cotton swabs... with much ease.
Treatment varies according to the recovery stage of the wound depending on the state of the skin, whether dehydrated or moist, and the location of the wound. (Photo by Chan May Ching)
The entire nursing procedure took more than 30 minutes. However, the process became harder after most people started sweating due to the room's stuffiness. On the other side, Madam Koh was shivering slightly in pain, so Tin Tin and Pan Han Ni had to keep comforting her: "Sorry, Sorry, just bear with it a little longer."
"It's not just about treating the patient. It's also about teaching the caregivers." After the treatment, Pan Han Ni did not leave immediately; she continued to explain the care methods for the old and new wounds. In home care, nurses often spend a lot of time providing guidance to the caregivers. Pan Han Ni gave thumbs up and praised Tin Tin as the 'model student' among caregivers!
Tin Tin (right) has taken good care of Madam Koh (left) for 14 years. (Photo by Chan May Ching)
The home caregiver who saved the day
Not only does Tin Tin take care of Madam Koh's domestic work 24/7, but she also plays a vital role as the “rescuer” in extraordinary times.
In July 2022, Madam Koh, her daughter and Tin Tin were all diagnosed with COVID-19 one after another within a week. Ms Zhou, who was in her 60s, was admitted to the hospital due to breathing difficulties, leaving only Tin Tin and Madam Koh at home.
Left alone to care for Madam Koh, Tin Tin, who also tested positive, panicked. She recalled that she had Pan Han Ni's contact number and sent her a WhatsApp message to ask for help immediately.
After receiving the call, Pan Han Ni immediately arranged for an online doctor's consultation, brought the medicine over personally, and hung it at the door. Despite suffering from multiple diseases at her advanced age, Madam Koh managed to survive the infection, leaving everyone greatly relieved.
In the moment of isolation, Tin Tin felt reassured by nurse Pan Han Ni who handled the situation in a calm and professional manner. (Screenshot by Pan Han Ni)
With lingering fear in her heart, Tin Tin recalled: "I called the 995 hotline. They asked for Madam Koh's oxygen level reading before telling me that she need not be admitted to the hospital and asked me to continue to monitor her situation. On the contrary, the doctor from Tzu Chi gave very detailed instructions and suggested what I could do in different situations, such as what to give Madam if she coughed and to call the ambulance when her oxygen level was too low."
"Han Ni delivered the medicine personally." Tin Tin repeatedly recounted how grateful she was. "If there was any issue, I could send enquiries through photos, messages or phone calls, which was helpful."
It is inevitable to encounter anxiety and helplessness on the long road in caregiving. Still, with the warm companionship and empowerment by community services, sweetness will prevail on the challenging journey.
When the daily morning care routine finally ended, Tin Tin pushed Madam Koh slowly to the living room and fed her cereals that she had just cooked. She teased Madam Koh with a smile and asked, "What are you eating? Hokkien mee, Char kway teow or Wanton mee?”
Not only is Tin Tin professional and attentive, but she also speaks Hokkien fluently and can communicate with Madam effectively.
Laughing amidst their conversation, the two leaned close to each other, a distance found only between very close relatives. On the face of Madam Koh, who showed a bitter face just a moment ago, finally came a hint of a smile.
Strangely, for a long time before this, though, Tin Tin and Madam Koh could not get along with each other.
Tin Tin (right) and Madam Koh are close like family members and get along well. (Photo by Chan May Ching)
From constant conflict to becoming close like a family
14 years ago, Tin Tin was hired by Ms Zhou to care for Madam Koh, who was quite fit back then. But Madam Koh often rummaged through boxes and cabinets to look for cash and other things and would get angry if she could not find them. Finally, even Ms Zhou became suspicious and asked Tin Tin, "Why is Ah Ma's money always missing?"
Faced with waves of questions and accusations, Tin Tin was speechless. A few months later, Madam Koh was diagnosed with dementia, and everyone realised that the out-of-order behaviour was caused by her deteriorating memory. It turned out that the 'missing' money was used to buy illegal lottery tickets from neighbours, but Madam Koh had forgotten all about it later.
After falling ill, Madam Koh showed some persistent and repetitive behaviours. Other than rummaging through her stuff to find things, she would not sleep in the middle of the night and would throw her belongings out of the window one by one. This means Tin Tin had to keep an eye on her for almost 24 hours a day, causing her much physical strain. Even as Tin Tin tried her best to take care of Madam Koh, she was often scolded and was starting to feel depressed. If not for Ms Zhou's reassurance and persuasion, she would have resigned and returned to her hometown.
In 2022, Tin Tin (right) celebrated Madam Koh's (left) birthday together with everyone. (Photo by Pan Han Ni)
What changed her mind was her realisation that whenever the two of them went for breakfast downstairs, Madam Koh would always order the same meal for Tin Tin. Such a move made Tin Tin feel that she and her employer were "equal". When Tin Tin first came to Singapore, she occasionally chatted with foreign domestic helpers of the neighbours and learned that some of them were not getting enough food.
Realising Madam Koh was treating her well, Tin Tin tried to understand her behaviour. Madam Koh thought that the money or things she cherished were gone, and if she were the only one in the house taking care of Madam, of course, Madam would assume that she had taken them. Therefore, although it appeared that Madam Koh was behaving unreasonably, from her perspective, it was fair for her to lose her temper at Tin Tin.
To improve her relationship with Madam Koh, Tin Tin pretended not to know anything. She asked Madam Koh to teach her Hokkien and eventually won Madam Koh's trust. "I would place some fruits and vegetables in front of Ah Ma (granny) and ask her what they are. What do you call this? How should I cook it? I kept asking, and sometimes she would tease me when I got it wrong."
"Ah Ma was very happy to teach me as it made her feel useful." Tin Tin paused and said, "It was only later that I realised that she was actually quite lonely and just wanted someone to talk to.'
Now Tin Tin has become the person who understands the family, especially Madam Koh, best. She is often the one who handles things for the family. Ms Zhou, who is over 60 years old, is proud to have such a great helper. "I am very grateful to Tin Tin for not only taking care of my mother but also taking care of me. Although we argue occasionally, we understand each other's personality and are close like a family."
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