Ah Xiang (centre) decided to become a donating member of Tzu Chi as she was touched by the love and care from its volunteers. Volunteer Zeng Jin’e (second from right) presented her with her very first receipt from the organization. (Photo by Wong Twee Hee)
As the ringing of the school bell announced the end of classes, Ah Xiang with her youngest in tow walked out the gate towards their home. After her husband’s passing, her job as a school canteen assistant was Ah Xiang’s first step towards returning to the workplace. It was an arduous journey for her but fortunately, she had helping hands to give support along the way, and Tzu Chi volunteers too, were always around to provide encouragement.
Lost in the Darkness
Almost 20 years ago, Ah Xiang left Malaysia by herself to find work in Singapore. She worked at a factory and got to know her late husband through a friend’s introduction. After marriage, she stayed home and was kept busy with her two sons and daughter. Rarely did she leave the house.
Unexpectedly in 2013, her husband passed away after a lung infection, leaving Ah Xiang at a loss. As she had no other friends nor family in Singapore, her friends in Kuala Lumpur decided to contact Tzu Chi Singapore volunteers to help keep an eye on her.
“I was devastated and really did not know how to carry on; I did not feel like doing anything, and did not even bother about the children.” Ah Xiang recounted the sense of helplessness which was still fresh in her mind. “Over the 10 years, I have lost touch with society, I didn’t know how to get a job and with no qualifications, (the situation) was made more difficult.”
Though she was on her own and had to see to the housing loan, upkeep the house and care for her children, Ah Xiang declined Tzu Chi’s help on her first meeting with volunteers.
Respect Opens Doors
Seven days after her husband’s passing, Tzu Chi volunteers paid Ah Xiang a visit. Volunteer Zeng Jin’e remembers how Ah Xiang’s face was steeped in worry. “During our conversation she would hardly respond, and we felt pained (upon seeing her condition).”
Having had an unhappy experience with accepting help from others before, Ah Xiang was guarded and was not quite willing to even open her door to let in the volunteers. Even after realizing their kind intentions, she remained unwilling to accept financial aid. Volunteers suggested that they remain friends and asked if they could visit her even if they did not offer aid in respect of her wishes, and Ah Xiang agreed.
Volunteers visited twice monthly during the initial period, wanting to provide her moral support during the low point of her life. Knowing that she was a strong person who did not like to trouble others, they pieced together details of how she was coping through talking to her. They found out that she was not able to pay the housing loan and wanted to downgrade to a three-room HDB flat.
Zeng said that they took note of the important details and dates related to her housing loan and home, such as when she was selling the house, having potential buyers over, and moving out. They quietly convened a team of volunteers in the neighbourhood who would be ready to step in the moment Ah Xiang announced that she was moving out.
Though Ah Xiang did not wish to impose, she eventually made a call to Tzu Chi volunteers as they were the first ones in her mind the moment she encountered a problem. The latter sprang into action and rendered help immediately. They provided transportation, and volunteers with technical expertise helped to cut off the utilities in her old home and set up the same in her new place. After three to four trips, her new home was completely done up and she was touched by the help she received.
Giving Care Like a Family Would
With the care and love from the volunteers, Ah Xiang could focus on being strong for her children. Aided by the recommendation of her child’s school teacher, Ah Xiang started working in the school canteen. This allowed her to earn a salary and to keep an eye on her children at the same time.
Both her salary and the government benefits she received made up the $1,100 that her family lived on every month. Her family lived frugally. Breakfast would be bread or biscuits, lunch a pot of porridge, while dinner would be two dishes with rice. Neither the air-con nor the television would be turned on at home and water from the laundry would be used to flush the toilets. In addition, her boss kindly let her bring home any leftovers not sold for the day.
Volunteers ensured that they were only a phone call away; with just a call, they would accompany her to the Tzu Chi Free Clinic when she was not well, and it was the same when she had to go to the police station to settle a misunderstanding between a tenant and her boss. Seeing the once reclusive Ah Xiang capable of interacting socially with others, volunteers felt cheered.
“They (home visit volunteers) are my confidantes and give me peace of mind. During the period that I felt lost, they were like bodhisattvas who appeared in front of me and gave me a lot of help.” With the care and concern she received, Ah Xiang grew in confidence and finally walked out of the abyss in her life.
Inspiring Kindness With Contribution
At the 2015 Tzu Chi Year-End Blessing Ceremony, Ah Xiang got to know about the Tzu Chi missions worldwide. She saw from the videos screened that there were others who were even less fortunate than her. “The people that need Tzu Chi’s help are much too numerous,” said Ah Xiang, and she hoped that volunteers would give aid to those who were more needy than herself first.
Seeing the images of suffering people on screen, she was inspired to donate. Every day, she would drop a coin or two into the Tzu Chi bamboo coin bank. She would also encourage her children to do likewise and nurture the kindness within.
Where she used to blame herself for not being able to provide better for her children, with an understanding of the karmic law of cause and effect, Ah Xiang has come to terms with her life and now faces the future with confidence. From an attitude of resignation and resistance, she has opened her heart to receiving the help of others. Her children too, have gradually stopped feeling resentful and seeing the change in them comforts her.
Her biggest concern is her family, but Ah Xiang is keen on the idea of contributing to society. During the 2016 Tzu Chi charity bazaar, she was quick to accept the invitation to help out. Her children were tasked with cleaning utensils while she was responsible for preparing the ingredients.
When she thinks of her family, Ah Xiang is content. “Though my husband is not around anymore, there are still many people around me who love me.” She smiled as she said that she felt fulfilled in spirit.
In gratitude of the help that she has received, Ah Xiang aspires to be a volunteer one day. Because of the care from others, she developed the strength to carry on, and it opened her eyes to how she could be of help to the needy. Though the future may hold more challenges, Ah Xiang knows that she will not be facing the journey alone.
During August to October 2015, Tzu Chi volunteers assisted Ah Xiang in moving house three times. (Photo by Zeng Mei Lian)
Volunteers accompanied Ah Xiang (first from left) and her child to the Tzu Chi Free Clinic as they were not feeling well. (Photo by Wong Twee Hee)
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